Arrogance: The Great Divider

Alrighty, next post, different subject. Let's talk about assholes!

Or specifically, those douche-bags who are always bragging about themselves. Just telling you how great they are. I even talked about them way back in this post.

Clay Shirky, however, gives a very interesting viewpoint on this subject. In her "A Rant About Women" (http://www.shirky.com/weblog/2010/01/a-rant-about-women/) she discusses the very material benefits that can come from being an arrogant braggart. I encourage you to read the whole piece, its fascinating. For now, I'll give you some of my favorite quotes:

In these circumstances, people who don’t raise their hands don’t get called on, and people who raise their hands timidly get called on less. Some of this is because assertive people get noticed more easily, but some of it is because raising your hand is itself a high-cost signal that you are willing to risk public failure in order to try something...

And it looks to me like women in general, and the women whose educations I am responsible for in particular, are often lousy at those kinds of behaviors, even when the situation calls for it. They aren’t just bad at behaving like arrogant self-aggrandizing jerks. They are bad at behaving like self-promoting narcissists, anti-social obsessives, or pompous blowhards, even a little bit, even temporarily, even when it would be in their best interests to do so. Whatever bad things you can say about those behaviors, you can’t say they are underrepresented among people who have changed the world.

Men, in her argument, often land better jobs and are more likely to take advantage of opportunities because they are comfortable with bragging about themselves.

Food for thought? Maybe. I'm going to get dinner and tell everyone how great I am.

Public vs. Private Politics

Ok, I got drunk last weekend, so I didn't post. So this week you get two posts, you lucky, lucky people.

Recently, because of this blog, I have made some feminist friends. (Yay I have a social life!) It was wonderful talking with them about our views on current culture and the continuing necessity of fighting for womens' rights. However, one thing that I noticed was that they are far, far more dedicated than I am. I, a mere dabbler in feminism, could not compare to their righteous opinions on every aspect of life. I even made some seemingly innocuous comments about the movie Avatar, which led them to jump all over my beliefs and political correctness.

Which leads me to question: where exactly do we draw the line between public beliefs and private behavior?

The most blatant example of this that I can think of happened to me in middle school. I had a close friend who has very into politics. She remains political today, and I believe is pursing a career as a senator. During the time I knew her, she championed many causes, and was always willing to argue her beliefs in person. For a school assignment, she gave an impassioned speech for the legalization of same-sex marriage.

However, those years in middle school were also the years in which it became cool to use "gay" as an insult. More specifically, people used "gay" as a synonym for "stupid". "We have extra homework? That's so gay," would be an example of the usage. I am proud to say that I never used the term in this way. This political friend though, used it constantly. Not five minutes after giving her speech, she was calling something "gay".

I believe that I was correct in considering my friend a hypocrite for this. She defended herself by saying that the "gay" slur was just slang, and would go out of fashion eventually. (Which it has, I think...thank goodness.) Nevertheless, I couldn't fathom that she would seriously support same-sex marriage, and yet allow the use of derogatory homosexual terms. She clearly did not practice what she preached.

Back to present day. I myself am often guilty of not practicing what I preach as well. I try not to use misogynist terms. I never slut-shame, as do countless people I know. But I have, for as long as I can remember, called my friends "pussies" when I think they are weak. My friend pointed out that I was equating vaginas with weakness. The thought had legitimately never occurred to me. By using this term, am I reinforcing female stereotypes? Am I helping the patriarchy?

Clearly, there is a need to live your casual, private life, as you lead your public, political life. But this leads to another quandary, for myself at least. As mentioned earlier, I was talking with my feminist friends about how much I had enjoyed the movie Avatar. They were horrified. "How can you have liked it?" They asked. "It has a horrible, untrue depiction of ableism and James Cameron is clearly a sexist. How can you support such a movie?"

Feminist often criticize such pop-culture offerings for their anti-female views. (Even Lady Gaga, a declared feminist.) I am at a loss. Am I not to enjoy my princess movies because they depict females as weak? Should I question every marriage proposal Jane Austen penned? Must I look for the politics in everything, and never enjoy any entertainment? Am I being hypocritical, and not as feminist as my angry, angry friends? I do not know if I can live life as angry as they (A common complaint against feminists...I am just digging the hole deeper today!)

I do not know. But I will try to use pussy less.

(except in this case: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BKYSt0_2cE)