Steak and a BJ

This is a post that I have wanted to do for a while. (Also I am currently procrastinating on writing an essay, and this is the perfect excuse).

In high school, one of my friends complained about her experience hooking up with a guy. They were all going at it, but she made it clear that she didn't want to have sex. The guy said something along the lines of, "Well, do you want to give me a blow job then? It could be good experience, for college." (I am not sure exactly what he said, but this is how she represented it to me - and I do believe college was a big factor in the statement.)

Anyways, my friend haughtily refused. (Obviously - get the picture guys, no blow jobs without equal reciprocation. I mean, what century do we live in?)She was especially insulted by his implication that she would need "experience" in preforming sexual favors for college. What kind of person did he think she was? Did he really think sex was all about practicing and perfecting the art?

But in reality, this is not such an uncommon belief in our society today. In a recent MailOnline article by Beth Mooney (whom I detest), the author propounds the theory that after the 70's sexual revolution "women were expected - in their love lives - to demonstrate the expertise of prostitutes." She continues: "Except these 'liberated' women gave it away for free."

In our post-sexual revolution world, women are expected to have sex! Hoo-ray! But they also have to be good at it. Quite frankly, I think the current stereotypical expectations are much more damning for the men. Men MUST BE good at sex. A guy who is lousy at sex will be ridiculed far more than a girl. Though could this have something to do with seeing a women as no more than a passive receiver of a mans glorious penis?

Don't even get me started on the gross double standards that still exist today - that a frequent sex makes a girl a ho and a man a stud (though luckily I have heard the word "man-whore" closely linked to "asshole" on my campus - unfortunately, "woman-stud" has yet to catch on.) It's a conundrum - be an excellent lay while still keeping a good reputation.

The problem I think lies in the idea of "good reputation." Women - and men - should be able to have sex - or not - and not suffer judgments on their moral character. Far fetched, I know! But things can change. Remember when pants wearing was frowned upon? Or when non-virginal brides were stoned? Things can change!

And moreover, it may be possible to redefine so called 'good' and 'bad' sex. There is a lot of talk today about all the pressures placed upon young people to lose their virginity, and become sexy, but we need to remove these sexually-revolutionized-expectations as well. Try not to make too much fun of the 40-year-old virgin - or even the 23-year-old one down the hall. People grow up in so many different cultures, in which sex can be taboo or expected. It would be nice to grow up in one in which this is a neutral. But is this even possible? My imagination, I admit, fails me. But please, Beth Mooney - lets get rid of the idea that women are losing their self-respect by following their natural instincts.

Oh Religion!

Once again, I am going to write about my discomfort. I hope this blog does not just become a list of my discomforts. "Oh, Lily was feeling awkward today! Let's write about it!" Yeah, this is what makes you a writer, people!

But no! This blog is going to be about things that I blame SOCIETY for making me feel awkward about it. And today, it is religion.

Why is it that religion is such a taboo subject? Why can't we just spout out our religious beliefs to everyone? When I do, however, I find myself losing friends. In one case, a boyfriend (he was a retrospective-crazy, no worries about that.) Anyway, I wish there was some law against this.

I don't think discussing religion is the same as converting people. I think people can have intelligent discussions on God, morals, life and after-life, without forcing others to start worshiping, or screaming "You're wrong!" at other people. In fact, I have had discussions like this, on many occasions.

However, there is something about religion that seems to get people all riled up. They just can't be civil to one another when the topic is in play. And so, it has become taboo. As much as I would love to talk about all my thoughts, its a no-no for me to do it with the world at large. I'm blaming you, society! I'm blaming you for creating all these little politeness laws and especially for creating religion!

But maybe that is what growing up is all about - learning to be confident about sharing your views, without fear of all these silly repercussions. Maybe I need to start changing to world as I see fit. I have to "be the change" like Gandhi says.

Alright, this is my little rant. I'm going to level with you - I'm not really feeling good about my views on this topic. In fact, I think a lot of my views on all topics are not well formed, and perhaps not well-supported (or even right!). But that is what this blog is for. To get a better sense of my feminism. Oh yeah, and to yell about things. I really like yelling.