Public vs. Private Politics

Ok, I got drunk last weekend, so I didn't post. So this week you get two posts, you lucky, lucky people.

Recently, because of this blog, I have made some feminist friends. (Yay I have a social life!) It was wonderful talking with them about our views on current culture and the continuing necessity of fighting for womens' rights. However, one thing that I noticed was that they are far, far more dedicated than I am. I, a mere dabbler in feminism, could not compare to their righteous opinions on every aspect of life. I even made some seemingly innocuous comments about the movie Avatar, which led them to jump all over my beliefs and political correctness.

Which leads me to question: where exactly do we draw the line between public beliefs and private behavior?

The most blatant example of this that I can think of happened to me in middle school. I had a close friend who has very into politics. She remains political today, and I believe is pursing a career as a senator. During the time I knew her, she championed many causes, and was always willing to argue her beliefs in person. For a school assignment, she gave an impassioned speech for the legalization of same-sex marriage.

However, those years in middle school were also the years in which it became cool to use "gay" as an insult. More specifically, people used "gay" as a synonym for "stupid". "We have extra homework? That's so gay," would be an example of the usage. I am proud to say that I never used the term in this way. This political friend though, used it constantly. Not five minutes after giving her speech, she was calling something "gay".

I believe that I was correct in considering my friend a hypocrite for this. She defended herself by saying that the "gay" slur was just slang, and would go out of fashion eventually. (Which it has, I think...thank goodness.) Nevertheless, I couldn't fathom that she would seriously support same-sex marriage, and yet allow the use of derogatory homosexual terms. She clearly did not practice what she preached.

Back to present day. I myself am often guilty of not practicing what I preach as well. I try not to use misogynist terms. I never slut-shame, as do countless people I know. But I have, for as long as I can remember, called my friends "pussies" when I think they are weak. My friend pointed out that I was equating vaginas with weakness. The thought had legitimately never occurred to me. By using this term, am I reinforcing female stereotypes? Am I helping the patriarchy?

Clearly, there is a need to live your casual, private life, as you lead your public, political life. But this leads to another quandary, for myself at least. As mentioned earlier, I was talking with my feminist friends about how much I had enjoyed the movie Avatar. They were horrified. "How can you have liked it?" They asked. "It has a horrible, untrue depiction of ableism and James Cameron is clearly a sexist. How can you support such a movie?"

Feminist often criticize such pop-culture offerings for their anti-female views. (Even Lady Gaga, a declared feminist.) I am at a loss. Am I not to enjoy my princess movies because they depict females as weak? Should I question every marriage proposal Jane Austen penned? Must I look for the politics in everything, and never enjoy any entertainment? Am I being hypocritical, and not as feminist as my angry, angry friends? I do not know if I can live life as angry as they (A common complaint against feminists...I am just digging the hole deeper today!)

I do not know. But I will try to use pussy less.

(except in this case: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BKYSt0_2cE)